Beautifully Angelic Read online

  Beautifully Angelic

  Candied Crush #2

  Charity Parkerson

  Contents

  Introduction

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  About the Author

  The scanning, uploading, and distributing of this book via the internet or via any other means without the permission of the copyright owner is illegal and punishable by law. Criminal copyright infringement, including infringement without monetary gain, is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5 years in federal prison and a fine of $250,000. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions, and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracy of copyrighted materials. Brief passages may be quoted for review purposes if credit is given to the copyright holder. Your support of the author’s rights is appreciated. Any resemblances to person(s) living or dead, is completely coincidental. All items contained within this novel are products of the author’s imagination.

  —Warning: This book is intended for readers over the age of 18.

  Copyright © 2020 Charity Parkerson

  Editor: BZ Hercules & Consultants

  ISBN: 978-1-946099-72-3

  All rights reserved.

  Created with Vellum

  Introduction

  Two men secretly in love. Neither one wants to make a move. It’s about to explode in everyone’s faces.

  Declan has always secretly been in love with Ezra, but it’s always been a hopeless love. With Declan working for Ezra’s brother, he’s not free to show his heart. That hasn’t stopped Declan from watching and dreaming about Ezra. Some might even say Declan stalks Ezra on occasion. He can’t help it. Ezra is beautiful and sweet. He makes Declan crave everything. But Ezra’s brother saved Declan from a horrible life once. Declan can’t repay Jessie’s kindness by messing with his little brother.

  Loving Declan killed Ezra’s heart years ago. Declan is amazing and Ezra can’t stay away, even though Declan never does anything except hurt him. Each time Ezra thinks they might be close to crossing some invisible line that keeps them apart, Declan shoves Ezra away and sleeps with other people. The pain is something Ezra can’t tolerate any longer. His last attempt to win Declan finally pushed him too far. He’s done with Declan. Possibly, he’s done with everything.

  When Ezra’s health starts backsliding, Declan must choose. He can stay loyal to the friend who rescued him or save the man he loves. Either way, Declan looks destined to lose someone. Unless love wins the day, that is.

  One

  Shaking permeated Ezra’s bones. The Back Porch, Ezra’s favorite coffeehouse, was packed with people. Ezra should have been burning up from all the combined body heat, but no. Even in a thick sweatshirt with Sherpa lining, Ezra was freezing. It was as if ice had settled into his soul. Maybe it had. Since Christmas Eve five weeks ago, Ezra felt dead. He just kept moving and smiling despite his non-living status. Hell, he was even serving coffee at The Back Porch to help his friend, Wrecker. If that wasn’t trying, Ezra didn’t know what was.

  Ezra’s brother Jessie had gotten married the day after Christmas, stealing away Wrecker’s best employee. Even though Jessie had sent Wrecker some temporary help to cover the loss, no one ever worked out. So Ezra would throw himself into things, taking orders and delivering piping hot cups of coffee. He didn’t accept tips and refused to let Wrecker pay him. Ezra didn’t work here. He just needed to keep moving because he was cold. Ezra wondered if this was how zombies felt. If they were a real thing, that is.

  While trying to keep warm, Ezra moved from table to table, checking on Wrecker’s customers. At some point, he lost his smile and just kept moving. Ezra couldn’t stand still. If he did, he would think about Declan. All roads always led back to Declan. Ezra swallowed a growl. There Declan was again, invading his mind without permission. At fifteen, Ezra’s mom had passed. While she had been a wild woman who loved men and life, she had always been an awesome mom. Then she was gone. Ezra found his life uprooted. Living with his bother Jessie might have saved him in some ways during his time of need, but it had also killed him another way—Declan McDaniel.

  Declan had been Jessie’s bodyguard since shortly after Jessie hit it big when he was a teen. Declan was massive. He took up too much space. Declan was the perfect size to keep Jessie safe from tons of adoring fans. He was also Ezra’s biggest secret. Ezra loved him. Always had. It was a love that slowly killed Ezra until he ended up where he was now—cold and alone.

  “You have to try this cake I made.”

  Ezra pulled himself from his depression long enough to focus on Wrecker.

  Wrecker was sweet and he cared. Ezra could see Wrecker’s concern written in his every feature. Even though he smiled, Wrecker looked tense. It was all Ezra’s fault. Ezra couldn’t seem to shake the sadness anymore. He had moved beyond the ability to hide it. “Thank you. Maybe I’ll take some home with me.”

  Wrecker’s sweet smile slipped away. He snagged Ezra’s arm and hauled him in a for a hug. “I wish you would talk to me.” Wrecker was huge and warm. He made Ezra wish he could feel anything through the darkness coating his brain.

  Ezra snuggled close to Wrecker’s chest. His pale hand looked even paler and fragile while resting on Wrecker’s dark bicep. Wrecker was the real reason his coffeehouse was always packed. He was muscular and sexy as sin. Gay men flocked the building, looking for any shot with the ex-linebacker. But if Wrecker ever took anyone home, Ezra never saw it. He was content in being a successful businessman. Ezra wished he had that spark for life. Hell, he wished he cared about anything at all anymore. He just didn’t.

  “You shouldn’t worry so much about me. I’ve been taking care of myself for a long time now.”

  “I know,” Wrecker said, kissing the top of Ezra’s head. “But I know you liked having Theo living with you, and now he’s married your brother, and you’re having to adjust to an empty house again. I just wish you’d come stay with me or something. Let me take care of you for a while. God knows you’re always doing a lot for me.”

  Ezra patted Wrecker’s arm and pulled away. His throat felt tight. His bones were cold. He needed to get moving again. “Seriously. I’m fine.”

  The deep line between Wrecker’s eyebrows said he didn’t believe a word leaving Ezra’s lips. He picked up the chocolate cake he had been trying to get Ezra to try all night. “Then take one bite of this cake. Don’t insult my cooking by refusing.”

  With a faked smile, Ezra grabbed the fork and scooped up a bite. He forced the food into his mouth by sheer will. His stomach heaved. “Yum,” Ezra said around the bite while trying not to choke. It was like ash in his mouth.

  “Good. Now I’ll pack you the rest to take home. I expect you to finish every bite.”

  Ezra nodded while praying he wouldn’t puke. Wrecker’s cake was probably delicious—like everything he cooked—but Ezra’s body was currently rejecting all forms on nourishment—like it fought its way to the grave, turning its back on living. The instant Wrecker wasn’t looking, Ezra spit the cake into a napkin before he humiliated himself with a round of dry heaves.

  No one understood what it was like to be Ezra. Everyone wanted him to be pretty—like he was in the heavily photoshopped magazines he appeared in, but he wasn’t. Not really. Not on the inside anyhow. Declan knew that about Ezra. He saw that Ezra was ugly where it mattered most. That was why Declan didn’t love Ezra back and never would. That was why Ezra would always feel cold.

  The scent of expensive coffee permeated the air, coating everything. Declan swore the smell alone nearly overdosed him w
ith caffeine as he stepped through the front door at The Back Porch. Gay men always packed the large coffeehouse. Owned by an ex pro linebacker, The Back Porch served as sort of a haven for men who didn’t like the party scene. Declan didn’t care about that. Only one thing brought him here... well, one person. Ezra Thunder.

  As younger brother to one of the most famous drummers in modern-day history, Ezra didn’t need to work. Ezra’s brother Jessie paid all Ezra’s living expenses. That didn’t stop Ezra from pursuing a modeling career, or—for whatever reason—serving coffee at The Back Porch. Declan only knew Ezra had been helping out around here because Declan stalked Ezra. Always. Declan worked as head of security for Ezra’s brother. Sometimes that meant taking care of Ezra too. His job had nothing to do with this. In fact, Declan was technically on vacation right now. Everyone thought Declan had been traveling the country the past five weeks. The truth was a lot more sordid.

  Declan always took off six weeks at Christmas to throw himself into his biggest sickness—Ezra. Declan followed him. Watched him. Loved him from afar. He knew he was crazy, but this time of year was important. This was the time of year when Ezra almost died eight years ago. Declan hadn’t gotten over it. It seemed he had been right to be crazy. Ezra had that same look about him as he had that year. That was the only reason Declan had come out of the shadows over a week ago. He planned to spend what was left of his vacation time openly shadowing Ezra. Ezra could just get the fuck over it.

  Declan chose an open table close to where Ezra stood. There was no way he missed Declan’s presence. At one time, Ezra might have rushed to Declan’s side with a smile and a hug. Now Ezra pretended Declan didn’t exist. Goddamn, he looked beautiful. Ezra was a small guy with pink highlights. He couldn’t be overlooked. All eyes always followed him. He looked exactly like someone whose face should be plastered all over every magazine. Even Ezra’s lips were perfect. They were full and pink, begging for kisses. His hazel eyes were always lit—like Ezra carried an inner light. Those gorgeous eyes never focused on Declan any longer. Declan had been coming to The Back Porch every single night Ezra worked for the past week, and every single night, Ezra pretended Declan wasn’t there. Declan had earned Ezra’s hatred. He couldn’t stop trying to fix it.

  At fifteen, Ezra’s mom had passed away, leaving Ezra nowhere to call home. Jessie had taken Ezra in and moved from being Ezra’s brother to being more like a father. Declan had been twenty-six at the time and possessed zero interest in suddenly finding himself forced to oversee a teenager’s safety. He had signed up to tour with a metal band and live the life of a superstar, not babysit a moody teen. Declan had never expected Ezra, though. Ezra had shown up and immediately stolen everyone’s hearts. Declan’s more than anyone’s. For nine years now, Declan had managed to keep a safe distance, being only Ezra’s friend. Until Ezra had kissed him on Christmas Eve, that is. Declan had rejected Ezra. Things were fucked between them now, and Declan didn’t know how to fix it. All Declan knew was, he had to make them right again.

  “Could I get some coffee?” Declan asked when Ezra was within earshot. Ezra kept his head down and kept moving—like Declan was invisible.

  Wrecker, the owner of The Back Porch, immediately appeared at the edge of Declan’s table, swooping in like he had appointed himself Ezra’s protector. “What can I get you?”

  Declan swallowed the growl rising in his throat. “A black coffee, please.”

  Wrecker nodded but didn’t move away. Declan found himself staring into Wrecker’s oddly colored eyes. They looked like a lion’s eyes. Wrecker was a big guy. He matched the image of a pro-level linebacker. Right now, he also looked like he wanted to match his size against Declan. Declan would always win. “Why do you keep coming here? He doesn’t want to talk to you.”

  “I like the coffee.”

  “You never touch the coffee,” Wrecker shot back.

  Declan didn’t back down either. “Have Ezra bring it to me, and I will.”

  Some blond guy slid into a chair at Declan’s table, looking ready to shoot his shot. Wrecker and Declan focused on the guy. “Get lost,” they said simultaneously before going back to staring each other down.

  “He doesn’t want you here.”

  Declan shrugged at Wrecker’s claim. “Then he can tell me that himself.”

  Wrecker’s features hardened. “I’m telling you for him.”

  “Oh, for fluff’s sake, come on, Declan. We can talk outside,” Ezra said, appearing at Wrecker’s side.

  As thrilled as Declan was to have Ezra’s attention, he wasn’t quite finished with Wrecker. Wrecker had bucked up to him and Declan couldn’t stand for that, especially when it came to Ezra. Ezra belonged to Declan. Always had. Always would. “What about your boss here?” Declan asked, holding Wrecker’s stare.

  “Wrecker isn’t my boss. He’s my friend and he’s short staffed. I’m just helping where I can. Now do you want to talk or not?”

  Judging by the impatience in Ezra’s voice, it was now or never. Declan withdrew from his pissing contest and stood. “Let’s go.” Declan ignored Wrecker’s hate-filled stare as he followed Ezra outside. Ezra looked even smaller than usual. His large sweatshirt swallowed him whole. Declan fought the urge to snatch Ezra off his feet and take off running. He could toss Ezra in his truck and take off. Maybe if they had a few weeks alone, Declan could fix them. He didn’t know if a few minutes of talking outside would make a damn bit of difference.

  “Aren’t you supposed to be in Wyoming or someplace like that?” Ezra asked the moment they stepped outside.

  “I came back early,” Declan lied. He could hardly say he had never left and spent all his time stalking Ezra. “I wanted to see you. Plus, Icarus misses you. He’s been a depressed mess since you left him with me without saying goodbye.” It was a low blow, but Declan wasn’t above such things. Ezra had given him a pit bull puppy for Christmas right before he kissed Declan. Since things had gone badly, Ezra had run for it and not looked back.

  Guilt settled into Ezra’s features. His eyes slid toward Declan’s truck. “Is he with you?”

  “No. I didn’t want him chewing up the inside of my truck while I came to see you.” An evil smile stretched Declan’s lips. “So I stopped by your house on the way and dropped him off there before coming here.”

  For a moment, Ezra blinked as if he couldn’t comprehend Declan’s words. When he spoke, his words came out slow—like he hoped Declan would stop him before the accusation fully fell. “So you’re saying you broke into my house.”

  There wasn’t an ounce of shame in Declan’s heart. “It’s not breaking in if I know the code to your front door and alarm.” Declan didn’t give Ezra time to rip into him. “I figure if I don’t take you home pretty soon, he’ll have time to chew up at least three pairs of your expensive shoes.”

  “I’ll tell Wrecker I’m going.”

  Declan hadn’t expected such a calm acceptance. He didn’t trust it. Still, he nodded. “I’ll go wait in the truck.”

  Ezra didn’t quite meet Declan’s gaze as he nodded and headed back inside. Declan couldn’t look away. Damn, he had missed everything about Ezra. No one knew how completely obsessed he was with the man. It wasn’t right. Jessie might be Declan’s boss, but he was also Declan’s best friend. Declan shouldn’t want Jessie’s little brother this much, but he did.

  Declan climbed behind the wheel of his truck to wait. Pretending to go out-of-town while not actually going out-of-town had given Declan some real insight to Ezra’s life lately. Ezra had never gone longer than two days without seeing his brother. Since Christmas, as far as Declan could tell, Ezra hadn’t been to see his brother at all. They needed to get past this. Declan couldn’t let Ezra cut his brother out of his life to ignore Declan’s existence. There had to be a middle ground. Declan would find it.

  It was taking longer than Declan expected for Ezra to make his way back outside. Declan sat forward and eyed the building. A movement from the corner of his eye caught Declan�
�s attention. He turned his head. Ezra was walking down the road, as if intent on sneaking back home without Declan. With a growl, Declan fired his truck to life. Ezra must have slipped out the coffee shop’s back door.

  Declan whipped to the side of the road ahead of Ezra and waited. He watched Ezra in the mirror, in case Ezra thought to make a run for it. Instead, Ezra climbed into the passenger seat, looking defeated.

  “Were you really trying to sneak away from me?”

  Ezra shrugged as he buckled his seat belt. He still didn’t look Declan’s way. “Does it matter? In the end, you’ll always have your way, no matter my feelings.”

  “Is that truly how you feel?”

  Ezra didn’t respond.

  Declan wanted to punch the steering wheel until his knuckles bled. Ezra made him insane. He didn’t know how to make Ezra understand he felt like he was failing everyone, including himself. He loved Ezra. Ezra was who Declan wanted to spend his life with. He just didn’t know how to make that happen without taking a sledgehammer to the life he had built, so he did nothing. By doing nothing, he hurt Ezra. It was this horrid and vicious cycle that Declan felt paralyzed to change.

  They didn’t have far to go since Ezra lived a few streets over from the coffeehouse. Declan was thankful since the silence was thick and bitter. He followed closely on Ezra’s heels as they headed inside so Ezra couldn’t shut the door in his face.

  Icarus ran straight for Ezra. The gray and white pit bull puppy with big blue eyes jumped up and down, trying hard to get into Ezra’s arms. Ezra made cooing noises as he took off his shoes and grabbed his mail from the side table by the door.