Pound (Hard Hit #10) Read online

  “You need to leave.”

  Von’s sexy eyes jumped from the phone to Justin’s face. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

  Heat radiated from Justin’s body, and not in a good way. He snorted at Von’s asinine observation. “That’s obvious. Get out.”

  A deep line appeared between Von’s eyes. “Are you okay? You don’t sound so good.”

  Justin’s throat burned—like he’d swallowed live fire ants. Still, it had nothing on the pain in his heart. “My throat hurts. It’s probably from all the bullshit I’ve swallowed today. You need to leave.”

  Ignoring him, Von touched the back of his hand to Justin’s forehead. “You’re burning up. Do you have a thermometer around here?” Von climbed from the bed, giving Justin an unhindered view of bare skin. He hated the way his eyes took in every inch and lingered on parts they shouldn’t. “I’ll text Luka back and tell him lunch is off. You need me here.”

  “Are you fucking kidding me? Seriously. Are you shitting me right now?”

  The rage—it was deep. His body was too weak to respond in the manner Von deserved—a swift kick in the ass. Justin’s eyes burned. He couldn’t tell if it was due to a raging a fever or the knowledge he meant nothing to Von. Justin hadn’t busted the man. It was obvious Von didn’t care if Justin knew. His actions sent a clear message to Justin—he’d date who he pleased. Justin could accept it or end things. In his heart, he’d always known he meant nothing to Von, but Von had never been intentionally cruel before now. All Justin could do was stare at the ceiling and hurt.

  “Here.” That one word from Von was all the warning Justin got before a thermometer was shoved in his mouth. He dutifully shifted the cold device beneath his tongue as Von pressed the button, switching it on. Justin eyed the man’s face with an odd sort of disconnect. Even knowing the man had broken him didn’t detract from Von’s good looks. He had a small but deep scar beside his left eye. His nose had been broken at some point. The man lived a rough and tumble life. He was strong and genius-level smart. On paper, Von was perfect for Justin. In reality, the man was a cruel bastard who made dates with other men while his nude body still pressed against Justin in Justin’s bed. The thermometer beeped. The deep line between Von’s eyes was back.

  “Okay. Let’s get you up. I’m taking you to the doctor.”

  “No.” Damn, it hurt to talk. “Once you’ve made plans with someone else while still in my bed, I’m done. I should’ve never let you back in. Goddamn, I’m such a fucking idiot.” The more Justin spoke, the more his throat burned and his heart broke. Seriously, it was like the same knives ripping at his throat also shredded the tattered remains of the stupid organ beating in his chest.

  Von’s frown deepened as he pulled Justin into a sitting position. “Luka is a married man.”

  Oooh, goddamn him. The German accent had thickened on Von’s claim. Justin wanted to punch him in the dick. Unfortunately, he couldn’t lift his arms. “That’s a new low, even for you.”

  A puzzled expression crossed Von’s features. “Luka is no more than a friend, and our lunch was business.”

  “A friend you tried to fuck,” Justin shot back. Shit, his head spun.

  “I’d planned to ask you to join us,” Von said, sounding distracted as he moved to gather Justin’s clothes. With clothes in hand, he returned to Justin’s side and tossed a shirt over Justin’s head. “If you’d like, you can tear me to shreds and give me the third degree after you’re better. Right now, we need to get you dressed and in the car.”

  Since Justin was feeling worse by the second, he didn’t argue as Von dressed him as if he were a child. He did his best to help, but his body was like a leaden weight. Once they were both clothed, Von pulled him to his feet. The room spun. His stomach churned. “Jesus.” The word came out in a whisper, sounding as if it floated in from a distance rather than falling from Justin’s lips. Everything went black.

  Justin had been in and out for hours. Despite the nonstop fever reducer and IV, his fever wasn’t budging. Von had no fingernails left. He’d chewed them all down hours earlier. The odd thing about Justin’s delirium was—it hadn’t diluted his anger toward Von one iota. Von would worry over that later. Right now, they had bigger issues. So far, they’d tested Justin’s white blood cell count, done a strep test, spinal tap, liver function, and thyroid function. No one would tell him a thing. He’d never been more ready to put his fist through a wall.

  Von was so busy nursing his rage, it took him a moment to realize Justin’s eyes were open again. The flush of his overheated skin made his eyes seem that much brighter.

  “Why are you still here?”

  Von winced at how scratchy Justin’s voice sounded, as if it pained him to speak. The doctor said it was due to dehydration and not strep.

  “I’m taking care of you.”

  A harsh snort reverberated off the walls of the tiny room. Justin’s eyes fell closed. “I don’t need you. I don’t need anyone.”

  Von fought the urge to wince. He hated that Justin didn’t need him. “I know, but I need to be here.”

  Justin growled but didn’t open his eyes. “That’s stupid. You could easily leave here and never think of me again. God, I wish I’d never met you.” Whoa. That hurt. “My whole life I’ve been less than everyone else, but never as much as I have been since meeting you.”

  Since Justin was the sexiest man he’d ever met, brilliant and passionate, Von had no idea what Justin was talking about. “How so?”

  Justin’s hands lifted before falling back to the bed. Von wasn’t sure if Justin meant he had nothing, or he was too weak to talk with his hands. “Growing up, we lived in this small one-horse town about an hour south of Nashville. It was the worst place in the world for someone like me—small, nerdy, and gay.”

  Von already knew this, but he let Justin talk it out, especially since he didn’t think Justin would remember any of this anyhow.

  “We used to vacation here every summer. While we were here, no one ever judged me. The moment I graduated, there was no other option—to my mind— than Coastal Carolina. I was right. Once I was in college here, things got better. After getting my degree and landing an awesome job, I thought everything would be perfect.”

  Justin did have a kickass job. He was a Research Engineer for a Biopharmaceutics company. The man was amazing.

  “I was wrong,” Justin said, surprising Von. “Because I met you. I tripped over this gorgeous, gigantic, and famous hockey player in the middle of the grocery store.”

  Literally. Justin had turned the corner, tripped over Von’s large feet, and nearly hit the floor. Von had caught him before it happened. Their eyes had met. Von had been a goner. Unfortunately, now, Justin wasn’t finished tearing down that beautiful moment.

  “I was so, so fucking stupid to think someone like you—who’s always had people chanting their name—could ever truly want me. Such an idiot. I get it, though.”

  Von blinked. His chest burned. “You get what?” Von’s voice came out sounding gravelly.

  “I get why you’re the one for me, and I’m nothing to you.”

  For a full minute, shock rendered Von speechless. He opened his mouth, intent on setting Justin straight, whether he remembered it or not. The door opened, cutting him off. Dr. Meyers strolled in.

  “I had a thought,” the man said without preamble. “Has Justin had any recent surgery?”

  Von shook his head. “Not that I’m aware of.”

  “Yes,” Justin said over the top of him.

  Von’s gaze shot toward the bed. He felt oddly betrayed he hadn’t known that.

  Dr. Meyers moved to the edge of the bed. He read Justin’s vitals as he spoke. “Good. You’re awake. Tell me about your surgery.”

  “Arthroscopy on my right knee.”

  The doctor immediately flipped the sheet back and inspected the knee. “Your leg is purple. Is it cramping?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’m pretty sure you have a blood clot.
That explains our inability to break the fever. It’s an inflammation of the blood vessels. Are you having any chest pain or trouble breathing?”

  “No.”

  The doctor nodded. Von was freaking the fuck out on the inside. Blood clots meant bad things. “Let’s find it and then we’ll talk.”

  “Okay,” Justin said, sounding calm if not more than a little tired.

  Von waited until the doctor left the room. “I’ll call your parents.”

  Justin’s gaze met his. “No. I’ll call them when I get home. Otherwise, they’ll drop everything and come here. Not only do I not want them hovering over me, they can’t afford to make the trip. I’m used to being alone. This is no different.”

  Aggravation made Von’s skin feel too tight. “You’re not alone.”

  “If you say so,” Justin said, closing his eyes again. “Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way to your lunch date with someone else.”

  “Goddamn it,” Von muttered under his breath. “Lunch was ten hours ago, and I haven’t left your side, nor do I intend to. Go the fuck to sleep, Justin. I’ll take care of you.”

  Justin didn’t say anything else. Von eyed the man’s pale face, wondering why his silence felt more like a “fuck you” than his words had.

  It took three days for Justin’s brain to clear from the fog. Each of those three days were a blur. The only thing he knew for certain was Von never left his side. Some brown-haired guy had shown up with a bag of clothes for Von. He’d showered in Justin’s hospital room. Ate every terrible meal alongside him. Shown care and worry over Justin that Justin had never expected. He only wished he could recall every second because Justin had no doubt he’d never see Von again once he was fully healed. If there was a god in Heaven, he would not. It was too hard. Hurt too much.

  “Why are you still here?”

  Von didn’t look up from the book he read. It was a huge tome. No doubt it was also nonfiction. Sometimes Von could be downright boring in his tastes. It was no wonder I caught his eye. Justin bit back a groan at the thought. Von turned the page. His eyes moved over the contents.

  “Why didn’t you tell me you were having surgery? You know I would’ve dropped everything. I know you don’t have anyone here to help you.” Von continued staring at his book as he asked his questions.

  Justin released a sigh. It sounded exhausted, even to his ears. “Why would I think you’d drop everything? Not only had I not heard from you in six months, you were also openly dating some guy. Not to mention, your team was in the playoffs. You couldn’t drop everything.”

  Von finally looked up. His gaze moved over Justin’s face, but his expression gave nothing away. “Then you should’ve waited to have your surgery until the playoffs ended.” Von shook his head. “I suppose it doesn’t matter now. At least I was there when you passed out. Otherwise, you might’ve died.”

  Justin’s face screwed up in confusion. He felt it happen. “Are you waiting for me to thank you?”

  Von turned another page, even though he hadn’t looked away from Justin. “No. I’m waiting for you to apologize.”

  A pain bloomed behind Justin’s eye. He rubbed his forehead. “Why am I apologizing?”

  Von turned another page. “For not telling me about the surgery.”

  “Huh,” Justin grunted.

  “And scaring me,” Von added.

  “Wow.”

  “And for thinking I’d leave your bed to go on a date with someone else,” Von continued, ignoring Justin’s sarcasm.

  “It’s not as if I pulled the idea from thin air.”

  “Mostly for thinking we’re over,” Von said over the top of Justin, as if Justin hadn’t spoken.

  “No.”

  At his response, Von finally closed his book. “No, what?”

  “No, I won’t apologize,” Justin said, surprised by how calm he sounded. Inside, he seethed. “You don’t get to disappear from my life, date someone else, and then expect me to say I’m sorry.”

  Von stood and set his book aside. Still, his expression didn’t change. The stirring in Justin’s chest had him thankful they were no longer monitoring his heart. Von moved to stand over Justin, forcing Justin to tilt his head back to hold Von’s stare. The man didn’t stop coming. He flattened his palms on either side of Justin’s head and leaned in until they were nose to nose. Justin was certain he hadn’t blinked since Von closed his book. He was also glad they’d finally let him get up and brush his teeth. That random thought went further at proving how Justin always only thought of Von’s comfort.

  “Is my number still programmed in your phone?”

  Justin licked his lips. With Von so close, he could practically taste him. “Yes.”

  “Then I didn’t walk away from you. You chose to let me go. I’m always the one calling you, because you’re a sickness for me. This last time I left, I decided I wouldn’t call you again until you called me. Was it childish? Yes, but I obviously failed at my own test, and at least I can admit I didn’t feel secure in whatever it is we have.”

  Von had him there. He did always call first. Justin’s pride kept him from being the one who called—like he begged for the man’s attention. “Kiss me.” Goddamn it. That was his voice, whispering a plea for Von’s touch. He might’ve called it back if an ounce of triumph had touched Von’s features. Instead, the man’s gaze turned heated.

  “I’m already hard as a rock. If I kiss you, I might develop a limp.”

  Justin’s fingers moved without thought. He needed to know if Von lied. Justin shaped the other man’s erection through his jeans. A hum rose in the back of his throat. Von’s eyes fell closed. Justin took advantage and captured Von’s lips. For a second, neither of them moved. Then Justin’s head hit the bed as Von pressed into him and ate at Justin’s mouth. Their tongues clashed and teeth tugged at each other’s lips. Justin could barely breathe beneath the onslaught. He didn’t care. In truth, he’d always secretly expected Von would be the death of him somehow. A light knock landed on the door. Von jumped away and was reseated before Justin had his eyes completely open. His breath came in gasps. Dr. Meyers strolled in. Von stared down at his open book, but his gaze remained fixed upon one spot, as if seeing nothing.

  “Are you ready to go home?”

  Justin tried working up a smile for the doctor. “More than ready.”

  “Good. I’ll get the paperwork together. Mr. Wolf has been briefed on what to watch out for, and what to do if you show signs of another clot. I have a feeling he’ll take good care of you.” Justin’s gaze slid Von’s way. The doctor kept talking, unaware of the weight crushing Justin. “Make sure you get your blood thinners filled before going home and take them as prescribed.”

  “I’ll make sure he doesn’t miss a single dose,” Von said, interrupting.

  Dr. Meyers chuckled. Justin couldn’t look away from Von. “As I said, I think you have a fierce protector who’ll watch over you better than we can.” Justin couldn’t hear a word past the roar in his ears. Von spoke as if he intended to come home with Justin—like Justin would never be alone again. The doctor shook Von’s hand. Von nodded while the doctor’s mouth moved. They both smiled as if they were old friends. No one noticed his panic. Justin couldn’t tear his gaze away from Von. The moment they were alone again, Von came to his feet.

  “Where was I before we were interrupted? Oh, yeah,” he said as he moved to stand over Justin. “Right here,” he said before capturing Justin’s mouth. Sound rushed back to Justin’s senses, overloading them. The reason for his choking terror was one he could never, ever share. The way Von acted with the doctor—the way he was treating Justin now—it was a trick. It had to be. There was no way what he’d seen in Von’s eyes the moment he’d said he’d take care of Justin could be real. It had to be the lighting in the room or something related to his near-death experience. There was zero chance the love he’d seen in Von’s gaze was real. No way at all.

  3

  Von barely stopped himself f
rom chewing through his cheek. He could feel Justin’s gaze boring a hole in the side of his head as he drove. Time was short. He needed to make his confession before they reached Justin’s house, but—when it came to Justin—Von was weak.

  “I have something I need to tell you.”

  “Okay.” Justin sounded calm if not a little wary.

  Von decided to jump in with both feet. “For the record, I did take your concerns to heart, but your parents are waiting at your house.” Von rushed to explain while Justin was still gathering his strength for the storm. Von could feel it brewing. “I get that you didn’t want them hovering while you were in the hospital. You were in no shape to be entertaining well-meaning people, but they’re your parents. I also get they couldn’t afford the trip. That’s why I paid for them to come. I’ve been keeping them posted, and your mama has been cleaning your house until it shines, hoping you won’t have to do anything for a few days.” Von recognized he was rambling. He just couldn’t seem to stop.

  “Thank you.”

  “Your papa mowed your grass and even changed the oil in your car. I guess so he’d have something to do, hoping to be useful. I get that.”

  “You’re amazing.”

  Von couldn’t stop. “Please don’t be mad. I just know if I had kids, I would want to know and be there if anything happened, even if they were grown.”

  “I’m not mad.”

  It finally sank in that Justin wasn’t raging against him. He glanced Justin’s way. “You’re not?”

  Justin’s smile was sweet. It melted Von’s heart. “No. There was no way I could’ve avoided telling them forever, and Mom would’ve been pissed and came even though she didn’t have the money. I’ll pay you back.”