Beautifully Torn Read online

  Rocky fought a blush. “No. Thanks, but you don’t want me in this thing.”

  “Don’t be hardheaded,” Hudson said, rolling his eyes.

  Jinx snagged the belt loops of Rocky’s jeans and walked backward, dragging Rocky into the frame. His mischievous smile was all Rocky could see. “Come on. Don’t be shy. Hudson plans to pay you really, really well for this. Plus, don’t you want to play with me?” Rocky didn’t know what that meant, but he still held still while Jinx unbuttoned his shirt. Jinx kept his gaze locked on his task. “You’re the only man I know who wears twill button-down shirts on their day off.” He ran his fingertip down Rocky’s forearm. “I love the way you roll the sleeves to your elbows, though.”

  Too late, Rocky realized his shirt was open and Hudson had been snapping pictures all along.

  When the sun began to set, Hudson dragged them outside. He positioned Jinx and Rocky with the setting sun to one side while he took pictures from the other, letting the sunset be their background. Hudson had them facing each other. Every few seconds, he moved them closer. Rocky stared into Jinx’s sexy light blue eyes and forgot why they were there.

  “Now lean in like you’re about to kiss.”

  Rocky tried looking Hudson’s way to argue. Jinx touched Rocky’s face and drew him closer. He stopped an inch away from Rocky’s mouth. Rocky’s lips parted on a breath. His eyes automatically fell closed while his heartbeat pounded in his ears. He wanted to close the final gap as much as he craved his next breath.

  “Perfect. You two look like you belong together. This needs a little something extra, though. Tito, come take this camera.”

  At Hudson’s words, Rocky came back to reality and took a step back. His heart rate didn’t slow, and his lust didn’t ebb. Jinx looked dazed and turned on. Rocky couldn’t look away.

  Hudson passed the camera to the huge guard Rocky had almost nailed with the door. Then he joined them in the pictures. Jinx and Hudson exchanged a glance and a smile. Before he grasped their intentions, they sandwiched Rocky between them. Jinx moved behind Rocky, grabbed both halves of his shirt, and tugged. Rocky automatically leaned back into Jinx’s arms as Jinx exposed his chest and trapped his upper arms in the material. The clicking of the camera was the only sound filling the air as Jinx’s mouth opened against the side of Rocky’s neck. Rocky’s head fell back. A gasp escaped him. Hudson’s body melded against him. His lips touched Rocky’s collarbone. Rocky saw stars. He became hyper aware of every place they touched. They were all hard. He knew there was no way Hudson missed his erection since he was fully aware of theirs. Rocky had two tongues stroking his skin, and it was too much. He wanted to fuck. There was a bed inside the warehouse. Rocky wanted to be there right now, between these bodies. He didn’t doubt for a moment they would be explosive. Then it was over.

  Hudson moved away and reclaimed the camera. As he flipped through the images, Jinx fixed Rocky’s shirt. Rocky stared at Jinx, willing him to say something as he buttoned Rocky’s shirt for him. When the tension became too much, Rocky’s mouth opened. Confessions raced to his tongue.

  “These pictures are amazing, guys,” Hudson said, saving Rocky from himself. “You both did fantastic.”

  Jinx took Rocky’s hand and headed for the SUV. “Please send me copies of the best shots. This was so much fun.”

  Tito opened the door. Rocky did his best not to make eye contact as he followed Jinx into the backseat. This time, once they were closed inside, an odd sense of intimacy washed over Rocky. They felt shut away from the rest of the world. It was like they were in their own bubble. Rocky draped his arm over Jinx’s shoulders instead of the seat. Jinx set his hand on Rocky’s thigh. Hudson turned Jinx’s way and draped his arm across the back of the seat. His hand came to rest on Rocky’s shoulder. He stroked. Back and forth, Hudson’s fingertips trailed across Rocky’s skin. The feeling of intimacy doubled. The air felt heavy with desire. No one made any moves beyond the most innocuous of touches.

  With his free hand, Hudson took Jinx’s hand. He toyed with Jinx’s fingers. “I hate that our time is ending,” Hudson said as he watched their fingers linking and stroking. Rocky was mesmerized by the sight too. He couldn’t explain why. “I have a thing tonight.”

  “It’s okay. We’ll see each other again.”

  Even though Hudson kept his head down, Rocky still caught a quick glimpse of Hudson’s smirk. “You’re not even going to ask what thing I have, are you? You’re not the least bit jealous or curious.”

  A low and sexy-sounding chuckle rumbled from Jinx. “First off, it’s not my business. If you wanted to tell me, you would. Second, I have no right to be jealous. You belong to the world first and not at all to me.”

  Hudson’s chin lifted. “That’s not true.” His green eyes looked earnest in a way that Rocky had never seen him look before. “Do you remember when you asked me what it’s like being me, and I said I felt like I’m always skating a super fine line?”

  “Yes.”

  At Jinx’s response, a sad smile passed over Hudson’s lips. Rocky found himself engrossed in the conversation. Hudson’s gaze moved between them. He almost seemed shy in that moment. “I didn’t feel that way today.”

  Rocky didn’t know what Hudson was talking about since he hadn’t been present for the conversation referenced. He got the gist of it, though. Today, Hudson had gotten to be normal. Rocky imagined that didn’t happen often. Working for Zayn had given Rocky some insight into the rich and famous. It was a lonely existence. Rocky couldn’t let Hudson be alone. “You should hang out with us more often, then.”

  Hudson smiled. His spine melted against the door and his palm smoothed down Rocky’s arm as he went. “I’d like that. Things have been kind of crazy lately. I dropped two albums back-to-back right after coming off tour. Now I have a small role in an upcoming movie. That’s what I’m doing tonight. We’re filming my scenes.”

  “That sounds... legitimately exhausting,” Jinx said, mirroring Rocky’s thoughts. No doubt, Jinx knew better than him. As the sound man for Spencer’s alter ego, Zealous Blaze, he understood the hard work it took for just one show, much less an entire tour and everything else Hudson listed.

  Hudson stared at nothing while playing with Jinx’s fingers. “I’ve been tired a long damn time.”

  Even though Hudson sounded distant, Rocky’s chest tightened. There was something in his tone. It spoke to Rocky and scared him a little. He didn’t know why he felt so close to Hudson after one afternoon together. Something was happening between the three of them. Maybe they had merely uncovered a deep kinship. No matter the reason for his feelings, Rocky didn’t want him to be sad.

  “Call us when you’re done.” The words were out there before Rocky could think them through.

  Hudson’s gaze collided with Rocky’s and didn’t budge. He looked as if he held his breath. For a moment, no one spoke. Then Hudson gave the subtlest of nods. Air filled Rocky’s lungs, making him realize he had been the one holding his breath. Jinx squeezed his knee but didn’t look his way. Rocky wondered what he had started. He wasn’t sure, but one thing was crystal clear. There was no going back.

  Two

  Lights twinkled in the night sky for as far as the eye could see. Wind ruffled Hudson’s hair and made goosebumps rise on his skin. He tried keeping his mind blank. Nothing good ever came from his thoughts anymore. Instead, he focused on the city lights. His mood had taken a downhill turn immediately after filming wrapped. Some people he had never met invited him to dinner. Another random dude offered to blow him in the bathroom while simultaneously doing a hit of coke. No one blinked an eye. While most days he never stopped to think about how fucked up everyone was around him, tonight he noticed. Sometimes, from seemingly out of nowhere, it would hit Hudson. His entire life had been exactly like this. Since he was thirteen, grown men he didn’t even know had calmly offered to keep him serviced in every way. Fake smiles and greedy glances always flashed his way. Now, at thirty-one, Hudson was a complete mess
. He had never stood a chance.

  Before tonight, the day had been a good one. It had started out iffy. He had gone to lunch with some random guys, feeling self-destructive as hell. Hudson had thought to spend the day immersing himself in every sin. Then Jinx had saved him. A smile tugged at the corners of Hudson’s mouth. Jinx... Hudson took a cleansing breath. They had met a few years back when Hudson hired Zealous Blaze to DJ a party out in the desert. From their first conversation, Hudson had known Jinx was different—like his brain didn’t work the same as everyone else’s in the world. Jinx didn’t pretend to like things if he didn’t. He didn’t smile if he didn’t feel it. It was like Jinx’s brain was extremely linear. He didn’t stray from the path of good and right. Jinx was honest and sweet. Untainted. He let Hudson touch him because he liked Hudson as a person. That was exactly why Hudson should stay away from him. Jinx liked the parts of Hudson that Hudson had shown him. There was an ugly side no one should see.

  Hudson dropped his gaze to the pool three stories below. He had this beautiful home and gorgeous cars. There was nothing he couldn’t buy; except he didn’t think he could buy Jinx. Jinx’s light blue eyes flashed through Hudson’s mind. The way Jinx always stared at him while hanging on every word Hudson spoke wouldn’t leave Hudson’s mind. A set of dark green eyes joined Jinx in Hudson’s head. Rocky was opposite of Jinx in every way. He was tall. Jinx was short. He was muscular. Jinx was tiny. Rocky was older than Hudson. Jinx was younger. Whereas Jinx would never question Hudson’s sanity or loyalty, Rocky would likely demand Hudson’s bared soul. After spending the entire day with the pair, Hudson had never been more torn. He wasn’t confused about which one he preferred or wanted the most. Hudson wanted them both. The problem was he longed to be crushed between their equal yet opposite personalities, but Hudson hated the idea of destroying them. He didn’t think they realized how they looked at each other. There was so much unspoken love between them. Hudson was a leech. He would take all of that for himself, leaving them empty.

  Another breeze stroked Hudson’s skin. Without thought, he grabbed the railing and pushed, heaving himself up onto one of the concrete pillars that separated the tempered glass panes of his balcony. The foot-wide square surface was barely enough space for Hudson to stand on. His legs shook as he straightened. The wind felt stronger from this vantage point. His pool seemed even farther down. If he fell, the water might cushion the blow and save him, but Hudson doubted it. Hudson stretched his arms out wide and tilted his chin to the sky. He would let the gods decide. They could use a gust of wind to take him away or he could fall backward. It would hurt, but he would live. Hudson closed his eyes, accepting either fate. His heart raced into his throat as the world suddenly shifted and he flew through the air before landing roughly over a solid shoulder. The blow to his midsection knocked the air from his lungs.

  “What the actual fuck, Hudson? Have you lost your goddamn mind?” Tito stormed through the house, berating him every step. “I’m one person. Can you not act a damn fool for one fucking second so I can have a break?”

  Guilt washed over Hudson. He was a terrible person.

  Tito stamped down three flights of steps, making sure Hudson was jarred every step of the way. Hudson knew the move was purposeful since he had an elevator. “I’m done with it tonight. It’s been a long day. As far as I’m concerned, you need to be someone else’s problem so I can get some goddamn well-earned sleep.” Tito stormed outside.

  “I’m sorry.”

  Tito unlocked the SUV and opened the back door. He tossed Hudson inside. “Shut the fuck up.”

  Hudson caught a glimpse of Tito’s enraged expression before he slammed the door closed in Hudson’s face. Hudson watched in horror as Tito stormed around the vehicle and climbed behind the wheel. A hint of panic set in. It was possible Tito had completely had enough. Maybe he would finally have Hudson locked up for being crazy.

  “Where are we going?”

  Tito started the vehicle. The doors automatically locked as he shifted into Drive. “I told you to shut the fuck up. You’ve got nothing to say I want to hear.” Tito fell into an under-his-breath tirade as he drove. Hudson only caught bits and pieces of it. There was something about there being almost seven billion people in the world who would kill to have as much as Hudson, but no. Hudson had to be the ungrateful asshole blessed with everything. Hudson was mesmerized by Tito’s rage. He knew Tito had put up with a lot in the decade he had worked for Hudson, but still. Before Hudson grasped where they were headed, they had arrived at their destination. Tito slammed on the brakes and was out of the car in an instant. Hudson’s door flew open, and once again, Hudson was over his shoulder, fighting to breathe.

  Light spilled from an open doorway. A familiar caustic-sounding voice greeted them. “Come on. This way.”

  Hudson tried pushing himself out of Tito’s arms to explain and plead his case with Rocky. Tito smacked his ass so hard, it took Hudson’s breath. The world flew past him as Tito tossed him through the air. He landed with a bounce on a soft surface. Jinx looked every bit as surprised to see Hudson as Hudson was to find himself in Jinx’s bed.

  “There, you selfish bastard. Explain to that one what you did.” Tito stormed away. Rocky followed him out. Hudson had a bad feeling Rocky was about to get an earful from Tito, and Hudson would spend the entire night being lectured by a new set of people.

  Jinx set the book he had obviously been reading aside. He turned sideways on the bed and leaned back against the wall. It was obvious Jinx had been sitting in bed and relaxing before Hudson had been tossed into his life. He only wore a pair of thin workout shorts and nothing else.

  “Hey beautiful.”

  Jinx smiled at the compliment. “What did you do to piss off Tito?”

  “I climbed a balcony.”

  Jinx’s smile grew. “That doesn’t seem so bad.”

  “I was three floors up at the time.”

  Jinx’s smile fell. He eyed Hudson in a way that immediately slowed his heart rate and lowered his blood pressure. There was something special about Jinx. He was soothing. Hudson didn’t feel judged.

  “Do you want to tell me what’s going on?”

  Hudson crossed his ankles and settled deeper into Jinx’s pillows. Now that he was here, Hudson didn’t want to be anywhere else. “I have green hair.”

  Jinx’s face screwed up in confusion. “You always have brightly colored hair. What does that matter?”

  A smile snapped to Hudson’s lips. “Don’t you know? Green hair is always the final stage of a mental breakdown.”

  To his surprise, Jinx reached out and took Hudson’s hand. “Are you still on your meds?”

  Hudson nodded. As Hudson looked on, Jinx toyed with his fingers. He kept his sexy light blue eyes locked on their joined hands. Hudson’s chest filled with an unnamed emotion. Jinx’s shoulders expanded and fell. It was obvious he still tried absorbing everything. He saw the ugly in Hudson. There was no going back.

  Finally, Jinx’s gaze met his again. “You’ll stay here with me. I’ll take care of you.”

  “You tried to jump from the balcony,” Rocky roared, coming through the bedroom door.

  Hudson winced. “I didn’t plan to jump.”

  Rocky stood, looming over Hudson with his hands on his hips. “What was your plan?”

  Hudson shrugged. “To let the gods decide if I lived or died.” It hit him. They had decided.

  With an eye roll, Rocky climbed onto the bed and sat cross-legged on the opposite side of Hudson, facing Jinx. “You’re an idiot.”

  “So they tell me,” Hudson said, unfazed. There was nothing Rocky could say Hudson hadn’t heard before.

  “Are you on drugs?”

  It was Hudson’s turn to roll his eyes at Rocky’s question.

  Jinx came to his rescue. “Hudson doesn’t even drink, much less do drugs. He’s unhappy.”

  “I’d be unhappy too if I didn’t as much as drink,” Rocky muttered under his breath, but he stroked Huds
on’s stomach.

  The backs of Hudson’s eyes burned. Tito had brought him to the right place. Hudson was fairly certain these were his only friends. He wished he wasn’t a mess. They deserved better. Hudson didn’t want to show any weakness. He needed to change the tone. “Have you two even kissed yet?”

  The pair focused on him with an unnatural intensity, as if they fought not to look at each other.

  “Don’t change the subject,” Rocky said at the same time as Jinx said, “No.”

  Hudson glanced between them. “Why? You obviously want each other.” He pointed at Jinx. “You always look at him,” Hudson said, moving his finger Rocky’s way, “when he’s not looking, and you always look his way,” Hudson went back to pointing at Jinx, “when he’s not looking at you. So what’s the deal?” No one answered. Hudson decided he knew best. “Kiss.”