Brawler Read online

  When Aden came, his breath caught at the back of his throat in a gasp. Remy felt it against his tongue. Remy scratched at Aden’s back, trying to pull him closer. Hold him tighter. If their moment was over, Remy didn’t want to feel it happen. Aden rocked against him slowly, riding out the last waves. When Aden rolled to his back, Remy went with him, draping over the man’s chest like a blanket. Aden’s heart raced beneath Remy’s ear. Remy pressed closer. He’d missed that sound. He didn’t know how long he listened. All he knew was he couldn’t move away. For the first time in forever, he didn’t feel alone.

  Aden stirred beneath him, making Remy realize he was still awake. “You should be exhausted. I could scoot over if I’m keeping you awake.”

  Aden’s arms tightened around him, threating to squeeze the air from Remy’s lungs. “Feck that. It’s not you. I’m scared to fall asleep.”

  Remy shifted, setting his chin on Aden’s chest and meeting the man’s gaze. “What’s wrong?”

  For a second, Aden chewed his bottom lip before giving in and answering. “What if all this is just a dream? What if I wake up to find you gone and all this was in my head?”

  Without giving any thought to his actions, Remy pinched Aden’s side—hard.

  “Ow. What the bloody hell?”

  Remy couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across his face. “You feel real enough to me.”

  Aden pinched Remy’s ass, getting his revenge. He immediately smoothed his hand over the spot he’d pinched in silent apology. “Kiss me.”

  He didn’t have to think about it. Remy climbed Aden’s body and captured the man’s lips. If Aden didn’t want to sleep, Remy could find the man something else to do. He knew all about waking up with the memory of a dream lost, crushing his soul. Remy wouldn’t let that happen to Aden. Maybe he’d missed his shot at keeping his man safe when Aden had his meltdown, but it wouldn’t happen again.

  Chapter 5

  The bed was empty. Aden’s initial burst of disappointment melted away when he caught sight of the clock. He’d slept later than he’d done in ages. With only a few short days until Remy’s title bout, he couldn’t hang around all day waiting for Aden to get up and moving. The second thing Aden’s gaze landed upon had Aden’s mouth pulling into a bright smile. There was a photo of Remy’s face taped to the pillow. His eyes were closed as if he was still sleeping next to Aden. Aden couldn’t hold back his laughter. He hopped from the bed, needing to get to No Rival so he could see the real thing again.

  In the bathroom, Aden’s steps faltered, and a chuckle escaped him. A picture of Remy brushing his teeth was taped to the mirror above the sink. Aden couldn’t stop staring at the picture while he brushed his teeth. His cheeks ached from the happiness. God, he’d missed all of Remy’s hijinks. Throughout the apartment, Aden stumbled across several more pictures of Remy doing mundane things. Aden left them where he found them and went in search of more. At the dining room table, he found a plate of food waiting for him and another image. This time, Remy’s face sat perched against the chair opposite of Aden’s food. Aden sat and enjoyed his muffins and fruit while staring at an image of Remy eating a banana. Underneath Remy’s face, Remy had scrawled Aden a note in Sharpie. “Paper Pete made you breakfast.” Aden snorted for the third time as he re-read the note. Jesus, his life had been so empty without Remy.

  He considered jogging to No Rival, so he could run back with Remy at the end of the day. In the end, the need to see Remy as quickly as possible won out. As he punched the code in to get inside No Rival, he wondered if Drew would kick him back out again. It wasn’t as if he had any right to be there beyond the man’s good graces. When he cleared the doorway, he spotted Drew sitting behind his desk. He glanced up at Aden’s arrival.

  “Aden,” Drew called out, stopping Aden before he could go in search of Remy. “Can I talk to you for a minute before you take over my training schedule for the day?”

  Aden flushed as he moved to join Drew. “Sorry if I’m overstepping. Training men to win is in my blood.”

  Drew waved off Aden’s apology. “Actually, I was being serious. If you plan to hang around, I’ll put you to work.”

  In his surprise, Aden dipped his chin, unsure if Drew was testing him. “I’m all right with it if you are. After all, it’s not as if I’m paying to be here like everyone else. I may as well earn my keep for the next few days while I’m here, working with Remy.”

  “Don’t worry over Remy,” Drew said, clearing off his desk and not meeting Aden’s gaze. “He’s paired with Rhys today. They’re—unfortunately—very well matched in personality. I think they’ll do great together.”

  “Rhys?” Aden mused. “You don’t mean Rhys Collier, do you?”

  “The very one,” Drew answered absently, still shifting through the paperwork on his desk as if searching for something. “Actually, it’s Rhys D’ Ettore now, but it’s the same person.” Damn. Rhys was the MMA world light heavyweight champion. That was an amazing opportunity for Remy if Rhys didn’t kill him. As if reading his mind, Drew finally focused on Aden. “Don’t worry. Rhys is like a gigantic obnoxious puppy. Remy will be fine. Anyhow,” Drew continued, moving on. “I’ve already talked to Remy this morning, but I wanted to talk you too and apologize about yesterday. If I’d known Carter harbored so much jealousy toward Remy, I would’ve intervened sooner. Hopefully, after our talk this morning, Remy will come to me in the future if there’s another problem.”

  Aden snorted. “Not bloody likely. Remy would find a warm pile of shit to sleep in if he could avoid complaining about being cold.” As the words left Aden’s mouth, a million questions raced through his mind. It was the truth. Remy never complained about a goddamn thing. Had being with Aden been Remy’s warm pile of shit? After all, Aden had been a junkie. Being with him couldn’t have been an easy life for Remy. How had the man loved Aden at all?

  “Well,” Drew said, pulling Aden’s thoughts away from those dark times. “Even if Remy won’t come to me, maybe he now knows I care. I might have my hands full here, but these guys mean the world to me.”

  Aden didn’t doubt it. Drew seemed like a great guy. “I’ll mention it to him as well. It might not make any difference, but I can try.”

  “I’d appreciate it. It’s obvious he trusts you above everyone else. The way he immediately mimicked every move you showed him yesterday said a lot about the amount of time you’ve worked together. I’d hate to break up a pair,” Drew said with a laugh. “Get going. I can see I’m killing you, making you sit here with me.”

  Aden flashed the man a grateful smile. “When you get a minute, just point me in the direction of where I’m needed and I’ll jump in.”

  “Don’t worry,” Drew said as Aden headed for the door. “You’ll get ambushed with requests the moment you step out my office.”

  With a shake of his head, Aden headed for the training floor. He’d only been there a few hours yesterday, and he’d shown his ass with Carter. Aden doubted anyone would willingly work with him in this place. Fighters were family. The second Aden turned the corner, he tripped over Carter.

  “Do you have a minute?”

  Aden blinked in surprise at the man’s sudden appearance. “Aye.”

  “I’d like to apologize for yesterday and explain if you don’t mind.”

  “There’s no need, but I see you need to get it off your chest, so I’m listening.”

  Carter gave a sharp nod as if recognizing Aden’s time was precious. “I fought for the lightweight title three nights ago and lost.” A bitter smile touched the man’s lips. “Years of work for nothing. Remy is a nice person.”

  “Aye, he is,” Aden said, understanding what Carter wasn’t saying. Remy was nice and therefore a soft target. Carter had known he could attack Remy and keep his teeth.

  “It won’t happen again. I’ve already given Remy my word.”

  Aden spent a moment eyeing Carter. The man looked nice and seemed to mean every word. His light blue eyes were latched on to A
den. He looked as if he was holding his breath, waiting for Aden’s forgiveness. If Remy could forgive him, then so could Aden. “Would you like some help tightening up your moves?”

  A smile exploded across Carter’s face, making the man look younger than even Remy. “I’d love that. Thank you.”

  Aden slapped the man across the back and urged him toward a practice mat. “Don’t give up after one loss. I’m the best, and I’ve got you now.” Aden didn’t know if it was true, or why he was saying as much, but he hadn’t lied when he’d been talking to Drew. Training was in his blood. There was nothing he loved more than making men into winners.

  *

  Several times throughout the day, Remy expected Aden to come around, if for no other reason than to give a few pointers. Instead, he stayed away. Remy tried not to take it to heart. No doubt, after yesterday’s bullshit, he thought he was a distraction. The idea was enough to make Remy want to take back his acceptance of Carter’s apology. The only thing stopping him from being the one who instigated a locker room brawl was the fact that Aden spent the whole day working with Carter. Leave it to Aden to diffuse a situation by fixing the root of the problem.

  Twenty minutes before time to leave, Aden finally made his way over to Remy. Then he only stopped by long enough to tell Remy he was headed back to the hotel and get Remy’s elevator key. Remy tried not to let disappointment gnaw at his gut, but the jog home brought with it a black mood he couldn’t shake. To be honest, he was always a hair’s breadth away from descending into a dark place inside his head. Even the beads of sweat, rolling down his spine, had him ready to tear off his skin or throw himself in front of a bus. He’d never been more sick of anything in his life than he was of himself. It didn’t used to be this way.

  Aden wasn’t supposed to be there. He’d given the man a key months ago, but Remy hadn’t expected Aden to use it today. Aden was supposed to be in L.A. There was nothing for it. Remy would have to brazen things out. Unfortunately, when Remy cleared the door, he lost his nerve. While keeping his head down, Remy made a beeline for the bedroom.

  “Hey, darling. Give me a sec,” Remy called over his shoulder. He almost made it to safety.

  “Whoa. Hold up. Where’s my kiss?”

  Remy’s stomach dropped. His feet froze to the floor. No matter how hard he tried, Remy couldn’t draw a full breath. In a matter of seconds, Aden would know everything. Remy would lose him. Why hadn’t he been capable of letting go of his ridiculous desire? Aden’s palm slid across Remy’s nape. Remy wondered if he’d puke. At Aden’s urging, Remy slowly turned. When their gazes met, Aden’s hand fell away. He’d never seen Aden shocked speechless. Remy was seeing it now. Aden cleared his throat. It was an uncomfortable sound.

  “This is new.”

  Remy swiped his palms down the front of his jeans. “Not really, no.”

  Aden moved a step closer.

  Panic rose in Remy’s chest. “I’ll go wash it off.”

  To Remy’s surprise, Aden shook his head and shifted even closer. He cupped Remy’s face. His gaze moved over Remy’s features, seeing everything Remy had tried to keep hidden. The tightness in his chest eased, but his breaths still came harder. There was no missing the hunger growing in Aden’s expression.

  “Bloody hell, my heart. Where have you been hiding this side of yourself?”

  Remy shrugged as he struggled for an explanation. “I didn’t think you’d still want me if you ever saw me like this.”

  Aden snagged Remy’s hand and urged Remy’s fingers to shape the erection growing in Aden’s jeans. “You know I can’t fake this reaction. Damn, sexy. You don’t need any of this stuff painting your face, but I’m so feckin’ turned on right now. Jesus. You are the most gorgeous and bravest man I’ve ever met. Will you be mad if I mess this stuff up? I think I need to get inside you quick and give you a reason to keep me. You’re so out of my league.”

  Remy loved this man who filled him to completion. Never in his life had Remy felt more beautiful on the inside.

  Remy stared at his reflection in the elevator’s glass as he rode to the top floor of the hotel. There were dark circles under his eyes and his hair was plastered to his face. He didn’t look like himself any longer. He didn’t feel like himself any longer. There was no happiness anymore. The urge to slam his fist into his reflection had Remy popping his neck, trying to ease the tension. He didn’t want to be this person when he saw Aden. When the doors slid open, he spotted Aden immediately. The man was lighting candles around their dinner. Like that, the darkness bearing down on Remy disappeared.

  “What have you been doing while I was gone?”

  Aden turned at Remy’s question. The sheepish grin pulling at Aden’s lips melted Remy’s heart. “I hope this is okay.”

  Remy bit his lip, trying to hold back his smile. “What? Being taken care of? I think I can handle it.” The cool air chilled the sweat on his skin, reminding him of how nasty he looked. “I need a shower.” He eyed the food on the table. “I’ll be quick.” Before Remy made it five steps, Aden overcame him. Obviously uncaring of how disgusting Remy currently was, he snagged Remy around the waist and captured his lips. It was fast and deep. When he pulled away, Remy’s eyes were hazy.

  Aden pulled away. “Hurry.”

  Without needing to be told twice, Remy rushed to the bedroom. After tearing off his clothes, leaving them where they landed, he jumped in the shower without letting the water warm up first. He didn’t care. It had been a long time since he’d been excited about anything. Aden was waiting in the other room. Nothing was more exciting than that. Remy took the fastest shower in history before towel drying his hair and throwing on the first clothes he came to. Normally, he’d take his time, ensuring he looked his absolute best, but it was Aden. Aden loved him just as he was—imperfections and all.

  He found Aden waiting at the table and staring into space. Remy slipped into the seat across from him. “You didn’t have to do all this.”

  Aden startled, as if he’d been so lost in thought he hadn’t noticed Remy’s arrival. His smile reappeared. “Yes, I did. How did training go with Rhys?”

  It felt like it had been forever since anyone had asked him about his day. He hadn’t realized how much he missed having someone to talk to until Aden was there, hanging on every word. Remy set into an explanation of the differences between working Carter and Rhys, not realizing until that moment how much more he’d enjoyed his day. Rhys was a titleholder, just like Remy, even if it was in a different sport. The man had already met his goals in life and wasn’t concerned if he ever won again. He was enjoying doing what he loved while spending as much time as possible with his husband and child.

  The food was gone and Remy didn’t remember taking a bite. All he knew for certain was he’d dominated the conversation. He fell silent, hoping Aden would take over. Aden kept switching his attention between the table and Remy, as if still waiting for Remy’s reaction to the candlelight dinner or trying to hide his nerves. The third time Aden looked away, Remy couldn’t take it any longer. A laugh escaped him. Aden was so damn adorable when he was nervous.

  “What’s on your mind, darling?”

  Aden’s hands shifted from his lap to the table. A thick envelope was clasped between his fingers. Aden eyed the paper in his hands. “I wrote this for you when I was in rehab.” A muscle in Remy’s chest jumped. He didn’t know if his body fought to spring and snatch the letter from Aden’s hands or cower. Aden wouldn’t look at him. “Several times I thought to send it to you. Then the time limit passed for it to be appropriate to send you anything. I’ve almost thrown it away a hundred times. Something always stops me. I’m still not sure if giving it to you is the right decision, but—”

  Remy snatched the letter from Aden’s hands without giving the man time to stop him. Aden finally met his gaze. He looked resigned. Remy almost handed the envelope back. When Aden’s hands fell back to his lap, he continued holding Remy’s gaze—accepting. Remy jumped to his feet once mor
e. He pressed a quick kiss to Aden’s lips before reclaiming his seat.

  “It’s okay, darling,” Remy said, trying to reassure him. Even Remy wasn’t sure if it was true, but he needed to know what the letter said. He slipped the note from the envelope and unfolded it. Remy held his breath, prayed for strength, and read what was inside.

  Remy, (This letter is dedicated to your eyes.)

  Today is day forty-seven without you. I wanted to write to you sooner, but this is the first day they’ve trusted me with writing utensils. It’s odd. I never thought there’d come a time when anyone would believe I’m such a danger to myself I wouldn’t be allowed to use a pen. That’s a low moment, indeed.

  Remy fought the urge to toss the letter aside. He knew Aden watched him. That was the only thing that stopped him from doing just that. He didn’t need to know about Aden’s time in rehab.

  Of course, I also never dreamed I’d hurt you, but here we are.

  Remy drew a slow breath in through his nose, trying to squelch the pain.

  When I made the decision to write this letter, I’d thought to explain. Now that I’m putting pen to paper, I realize there’re no words. There’s only me before you and what’s left of me after you. You fell in love with a mess. Why did you do that? You were always so much better than me.

  In spite of the situation and the circumstances of the letter, a smile touched Remy’s lips. He’d forgotten the million and one times Aden had sworn Remy was out of his reach—like touching a star, Aden had claimed. Without that constant praise, Remy might not have won the title. Aden had given him confidence. Made him stand up taller.

  There are a thousand things I should write in this letter, starting with how I failed you and ending with begging you not to hate me forever. But everything in my head is so goddamn ugly right now. Every time I try to start that letter, I end up tossing it. Instead, I want to talk about your eyes.

  Remy’s smile grew as he read.