Beautifully Toxic Read online

  Jessie had not been expecting such a beautiful boy. He wanted to kick himself every time he had that thought. Theo was soft spoken. Tiny. Big and bright blue eyes. Shaggy brown hair. He was sweet, and Jessie was damn glad he hadn’t let him go to jail. Jessie didn’t think he would have survived. Theo hadn’t stopped following Jessie around the house since the cops cleared out—like he worried about touching anything or that Jessie would think he had stolen something.

  First, Jessie had Theo gather his things from the pool house and then he had found him an empty bedroom in the main house. Then Declan appeared with armfuls of clothes and toiletries. He dumped everything on Theo’s new bed.

  “This is Declan,” Jessie said. “He’s my bodyguard and driver. In truth, he handles everything. He’s found some toiletries and some of my old clothes for you. There are towels in the bathroom, so you can get clean. That way, you don’t have to feel guilty for sitting on the furniture.”

  Theo shifted from foot to foot. “Why do you need a bodyguard?”

  The loud boom of laughter that Declan released nearly shook the walls. “Oh, I like him. He’ll be good for your ego.” Declan slapped his hands down on Jessie’s shoulders and squeezed. “This here is the Jessie Thunder.”

  Theo looked even more uncomfortable. “I’m sorry. I don’t recognize the name.”

  Declan snickered.

  Jessie waved it off. “I was before your time.”

  “Liar,” Declan muttered for Jessie’s ears alone.

  “I doubt that,” Theo said, calling Jessie out as well. “You don’t look much older than me.”

  It was Jessie’s turn to aim a triumphant laugh in Declan’s direction. “Ha. In your face. I told you I’ve still got it.” When Jessie looked back Theo’s way, Theo was smiling. Jessie’s knees weakened. It happened so fast, he almost gave himself away. Theo had one of those sexy smiles with the deep lines beside his mouth. Jessie needed to give him space, but Theo wasn’t having it.

  “So do you plan to tell me who you are? I don’t have any way to Google the name or anything like that.”

  “I was the drummer for Malice Abyss.”

  Theo nodded. “Is that a metal band? It sounds like a metal band.”

  Jessie couldn’t stop smiling. For reasons he couldn’t explain, he was beyond entertained by Theo. “Yeah. It’s a metal band. Don’t worry. There won’t be a pop quiz. Declan and I will leave you alone so you can shower and relax. Whenever you’re ready or feel comfortable, we’ll be around.” He headed for the door but paused as another thought hit. “By the way, there’s security everywhere, so don’t run away. We seriously only want to help. Okay?”

  Theo nodded. His smile was gone. He looked sad—like he didn’t trust Jessie’s help. “Thank you. I won’t run away.”

  Jessie smiled again, trying not to look threatening. He had already taken in one hurting boy when their mother died. This was familiar territory for him. Jessie just needed to think of this as the same as helping his little brother had been. He had to think of it that way. Otherwise, the too pretty Theo would get him in a world of trouble. The last thing Jessie needed was another unshakable addiction. He already had more of those than he could count.

  Theo didn’t draw a full breath until the door closed behind Jessie. He turned in a slow circle, eyeing the room. Holy shit. He didn’t know what to do. This was unreal. He shouldn’t stay. These people were strangers. He couldn’t take advantage of their kindness. His gaze slid toward the mound of clothes and whatnot on the bed. Maybe he could get clean, though. The past few weeks had been hell. Despite being unwanted, Theo hadn’t gone hungry and been dirty like he was now. It was horrible. He had been turning the three sets of clothes he owned inside out for longer than anyone should have to such a thing. Jessie was offering him a respite. Theo didn’t have the luxury of pride right now.

  He didn’t want to get anything dirty. He eased a hair closer. There was a plastic bag in the mix. Theo snagged it and looked inside. Shampoo, conditioner, body wash, toothpaste, an electric toothbrush, and deodorant, along with other odds and ends, overflowed the bag. The idea of being clean was too much to ignore. He headed for the bathroom. His feet froze to the floor at the first sight of the shower. It was a huge glass-encased work of art with multiple shower heads, jets, and seats. Theo moved closer, unsure of how to work the thing. With a chuckle, he started stripping. He trusted he could figure it out. Once nude, Theo found a couple of wash cloths and a towel. He dragged all the toiletries inside the shower and started turning knobs. After first scalding himself and then freezing himself, he finally managed to find a tolerable temperature from all the spouts. Theo scrubbed until his skin was blood red. He brushed his teeth in the shower because he wanted every inch of his body to be sparkling clean. Theo couldn’t take another second of the filth. Each time he thought about getting out of the shower, Theo started scrubbing again. He washed his hair so many times, the shampoo was half gone by the time he convinced himself to turn off the water.

  After talking himself from the shower, Theo made sure he was completely dry before returning to the bedroom. With a towel wrapped around his waist, Theo shifted through the clothes. He was ridiculously happy to see new and unopened socks and underwear. The pants were a little long, but the sizes were pretty dead on. There was an odd mixture of band t-shirts, polos, and tank tops. He picked a soft-looking t-shirt and jeans. Once dressed, he started folding clothes. Even though he was tired, Theo was too wired to sleep. So he put all the clothes in the dresser and the new shoes by the door. With everything put away, Theo found the hairbrush Declan had given him and started brushing. He still had his own hairbrush and whatnot in his backpack, but that was in the kitchen, and everything inside was dirty. Theo never wanted to be dirty again. He was already fighting the urge to get back in the shower.

  With nothing else left for him to do to buy time, Theo squared his shoulders. He took a deep breath and opened the door. The house was huge. He took two wrong turns before things looked familiar. Theo was a little worried he wouldn’t find his way back to his bedroom again. Finally, he heard voices and followed them. He spotted Declan first. The giant Viking-looking dude had his back to Theo as Theo slipped inside the room. The room fell silent. Declan turned and stepped aside, leaving Theo staring at Jessie. For a moment, Jessie stared back at him like he had forgotten what he was saying.

  Theo waved like an idiot. “Hi. I found my way. But I’m not sure I’ll find my way back,” Theo admitted with a wince.

  A smile exploded across Jessie’s face. “Declan or I will make sure you find your way back to your room when you’re ready. It’s not as confusing as it seems. We were just discussing stocking up on food. Any suggestions? I’m taking req—” The back door flew open and a tiny blond stormed in, blanking Theo’s mind. He was the most beautiful man Theo had ever seen in his life.

  “What the actual flock, Jessie? Why are all the news stations reporting that your house was crawling with police today?”

  Jessie kissed the man’s cheek and Theo had to look away. Of course. It made sense Jessie would be dating someone so gorgeous. He had perfect pink highlights running through his light hair. Everything about him was flawless.

  “Meet our new houseguest.” At Jessie’s words, Theo forced his chin up, refusing to be weak. Jessie motioned Theo’s way. “This is Theo. Theo, meet my baby brother, Ezra.”

  Relief washed over Theo. He didn’t want to look too closely at why. Theo automatically swiped his hands on his thighs in a show of nerves. “Nice to meet you, Ezra. It’s my fault the police were here. I’m sorry if I scared you.”

  Ezra glanced Jessie’s way. “Oh, he’s adorable.” Without waiting for a response from Jessie, Ezra bounded across the kitchen. “It’s so nice to meet you too. Why would the police be here for you? I could think of a million better reasons.”

  Heat rushed to Theo’s face. “Um. I guess I sort of broke in.”

  That seemed to draw Ezra up short. He blinked several t
imes before finding his voice. “Are you a huge fan of Malice Abyss?”

  “He’s never heard of Jessie,” Declan chimed in with a chuckle.

  Ezra tossed a laughing look Declan’s way. “Really? How delicious.”

  “I was just looking for a place to sleep,” Theo admitted. He didn’t want to make Ezra dig.

  Ezra’s smile fell as his gorgeous hazel eyes latched on to Theo again. “Oh, sweetie. Are you homeless?”

  The heat in Theo’s cheeks doubled. The humiliation was real. He felt so overly exposed. Before today, Theo hadn’t thought he had any pride left to bruise. These amazing people were setting fire to what little he had left to burn.

  Jessie came to his rescue. “Theo isn’t homeless. He belongs to us now.”

  Ezra’s gaze swung between them. Theo fought the urge to run. He felt completely useless and small. To his surprise, Ezra leapt forward and hugged him. “Yay. I’m so happy you’re joining our rag-tag family.” The hug happened so fast, Theo didn’t have time to hug him back. It was a fact Theo was grateful for when he caught sight of Declan’s expression. He looked possessive and like he watched Theo’s hands to make sure they stayed respectful. Theo made a mental note of that, since Declan could likely kill him in one blow.

  Ezra seemed blind to the tension. He kept smiling like he had just met his new best friend. “So why is everyone standing around the kitchen? Are we discussing dinner options? If so, I vote pizza. I know it’s a little early to be eating dinner already, but I’m starving. I just finished a photoshoot and I’ve been depriving myself for weeks. Now it’s time to get fat.”

  “Photoshoot?” Theo asked.

  Declan spoke over him. “You are not supposed to be starving yourself. What the hell, Ezra? When you started this modeling gig, you promised Jessie and me that you wouldn’t starve yourself. Sit down. I’ll fix you a sandwich.”

  Ezra huffed. “I said I’ve been depriving myself. That’s not the same as giving up food entirely. Just let me steal some of Johnny’s peanuts from his hidden stash, and we can order some pizza. I don’t want a sandwich.” Ezra opened a cabinet above his head next to the refrigerator.

  Declan ripped open the refrigerator door, looking ready to snap. “Fine, but I’m getting you a soda. Full sugar. No diet shit. So just deal.” Declan quickly rose from the fridge and turned. A little too quick. Ezra still had the cabinet door open. When Declan turned to hand Ezra the soda, he got hit in the face with the cabinet door.

  “Holy ship. Are you okay? I’m so sorry.” Despite Declan’s repeated assurances he was fine, Ezra pulled Declan’s face down to his so he could inspect his eye. He kept Declan’s face cupped between his hands. “Oh, sweetie. You already have a little bruise forming. I’m a terrible person.” He pressed his lips to the spot where Declan had been hit.

  Declan’s arm shot out and his knuckles collided with the edge of the counter as he fought for purchase. Theo had never seen anyone punched so hard by desire, while no one else seemed to notice but Theo. Theo cast a glance Jessie’s way, hoping for a moment of commiseration. Jessie was leaned against the counter on the opposite side of the kitchen, playing on his phone. A wave of loneliness washed over Theo. His entire life had been exactly like this. He saw too much, but no one saw him. Theo was always alone, no matter how many people surrounded him. His burden felt even heavier today.

  Jessie kept his gaze locked on his phone because it was the safe choice. Theo was drop dead gorgeous. Nothing good could come of inviting this beautiful boy to live with him. The first sight of a clean Theo nearly broke Jessie’s brain. As soon as he finished mentally berating himself for his reaction, and decided he would ignore Theo’s sexiness, Ezra had burst in. Ezra had always been the most stunning person in every room. Witnessing Theo’s reaction to seeing Ezra for the first time was hell. White-hot jealousy had risen in Jessie’s chest. He fought the urge to scream Theo was his. Jessie had found him. Finders keepers.

  Jessie lifted his gaze from his phone. Big blue eyes were focused on him. Theo looked sad. Jessie couldn’t see anyone else. He immediately set his phone aside. “What do you say, gorgeous? Do you like pizza?”

  Theo looked around, as if trying to decide who Jessie was talking to, while Jessie mentally berated himself again. Fucking coke had him saying his every thought. He needed to get his shit together.

  Jessie decided the best thing to do was roll with it—like he called everyone gorgeous all the time. “Yo, Theo. I’m talking to you. Do you like pizza?”

  Theo met his stare again. His cheeks pinked. “Yes.”

  Ezra jumped up and down and grabbed Theo’s hand. He dragged Theo toward the table. “Yay. I’m so glad you’re here. Jessie only lets me have my way like ninety percent of the time. It’s obvious you’re the co-conspirator I’ve been needing to get that other ten percent.”

  Jessie rolled his eyes and grabbed his phone before claiming the chair on the other side of Theo. While turned sideways in his seat, Jessie dragged Theo’s chair closer to his. Theo looked like he scrambled not to fall while Jessie manhandled him, but fuck it. Jessie wasn’t letting his little brother steal his new toy. He opened the search engine on his phone and looked up pizza joints. “Help me choose.” Jessie hoped his demand made his manhandling look less like he was beating his chest. “What’s your favorite pizza spot?”

  For a moment, Theo held Jessie’s stare, making his heart beat a little faster. Theo barely spared the phone a glance before shrugging. “I don’t know any of the places here.”

  Confusion had Jessie’s forehead furrowing. “How is that possible? Surely you’ve had pizza before.”

  A smile lit Theo’s features that stole Jessie’s breath. “Of course I have, but I’m from San Diego.”

  “How did you get here?” The question popped from Jessie without his permission. Even to his ears, he sounded kind of dickish. Thankfully, Theo didn’t stop smiling.

  “I walked.”

  “From San Diego?” Jessie might have half yelled. He had no volume control while high.

  Theo nodded. “It’s not like I had anything else to do.”

  “We’re going to order for the rest of the security team too. Do you have any particular type—like all meats or whatever that you like best?” Ezra asked Theo, cutting in.

  Theo glanced his way. “All the meats works for me.”

  Ezra nodded but didn’t look up from his phone.

  Theo’s laughing gaze swung back Jessie’s way. “It looks like Ezra has things under control.”

  “He usually does.” Jessie felt like he was falling into the blue of Theo’s eyes. He shook his head, trying to shake off the feeling before he did something stupid. “Help me make a grocery list instead,” Jessie said, opening his notebook app and forcing his attention elsewhere. “I want you to be happy here.”

  “I don’t know why you’re doing this, but thank you.”

  Jessie found himself focused on Theo’s sexy eyes again at his claim. A smile tugged at his lips. He wouldn’t leave Theo guessing at his intentions. “Everyone here is an orphan of some kind. Ezra and I were raised by a single mother. We have different fathers, but neither of us knows who they are. Mom was kind of a wild woman,” he added with a chuckle. “She died when Ezra was fifteen and so I raised him. Declan has been with me since I first started out on the road. He was seventeen and a drop-out with abusive parents. Johnny, you’ll meet him eventually, I hired him off the streets when he jumped in front of a guy who tried to throw a drink at me. There are a dozen people here with similar stories.” Jessie shrugged. “I don’t know why I’m like this, but I am. Sometimes, people don’t have anyone else. I have plenty of space. Maybe I’m an addict with a temper and almost zero fucks. I’m also definitely no saint, running a place for wayward people, but I’ll help you if I can.”

  Theo visibly swallowed and looked away. “You have no idea how much I appreciate it. I was out of options and low on hope when I found your pool house.”

  “We’ve got you,�
�� Ezra said, rubbing Theo’s arm and stealing his attention again. “Jessie went hungry many times as a kid. Now that he has more money than God, he won’t let anyone in his care starve.”

  “You’ll be happy here.” Even Jessie heard the hard edge to his voice, as if it was more of a threat than a promise.

  Still, with his gaze locked on his lap, Theo smiled. Something in Jessie’s chest shifted. He didn’t understand why he felt so immediately drawn to and protective of Theo, but he did. If Theo would let him, Jessie would make sure he had an amazing life.

  Theo’s new bed was so comfortable that he couldn’t sleep. Plus, thoughts of Jessie ran through his head. All night, Jessie had sat too close. Smelled too good. Since Theo still really didn’t know who Jessie was to the world, he didn’t think he was star struck. He supposed his all-over-the-place emotions could be hero worship. No one had ever rescued him. At least, not that he remembered. Theo fully recalled being abandoned, though. He remembered his adoptive parents’ faces. Their impatience. Their neglect. Theo forced his thoughts back Jessie’s way. At some point in the night, between the pizza and breaking out the video games, Jessie had slipped away. Theo hadn’t even gotten to tell him goodnight. He was a little sad about that and didn’t know why.

  Theo’s bedroom door burst open, sending Theo’s heart racing into his throat. Jessie stepped inside and flipped on the lights. He had a couple of boxes against his chest and looked lit brighter than a Christmas tree. “Jesus Christ, darling. What kind of eighteen-year-old goes to bed at...” He moved his watch really close to his face. “…two a.m.? That can’t be right. Anyhow,” Jessie said, focusing on Theo once more. “You said you can’t Google me, and I really don’t want you to. Also, don’t search Ezra’s name either, or you’ll see some really very nude pics that he doesn’t know I know about. Other than that, I want you to have a normal life, which includes internet. Plus, I want to be able to talk to you whenever I want to talk to you. So, tada.” Jessie held the boxes out to Theo as Theo sat up in the bed.